plus the enormous cat blog
DANE: So, tomorrow I just have a reasonable amount of work to do. Well, I mean, in addition to the enormous cat blog. ME: ??? DANE: [blinks as though everything that was just said is perfectly normal.]...
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Get a life
Who, me? ELI, WHO IS TWO YEARS OLD: Banana? ME: You would like a banana? ELI: GET A BANANA. ME: Right, here you go, banana. ELI: Now get a life. ME: …? ELI: Get a life. ME (THINKING): [Did my...
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You might be a crunchy mama if…
12 signs that you might be a crunchy parent. 1. You use coconut oil if you run out of shampoo. Or hand lotion. Or diaper rash cream. Or mouthwash. Or butter. 2. You own more baby slings, mei tais, and...
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13 things every three-year-old needs to hear
1. “Sweetheart? We do not lick mirrors.” 2. “No, we cannot have cookies with our breakfast. No, we cannot just call this meal ‘lunch’ instead. But that IS some creative problem solving.” 3. “Yes, you...
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How you know it’s almost Father’s Day
Top 10 Signs that Father’s Day is coming. 10. Someone has tried to sell you a golf club or a grill in the last week. No one in your house has ever used a golf club or a grill. No one in your house has...
View ArticleThe daily routine
Alternately titled: Why I am never on time to anything, ever, no matter what, even though I set out clothes and pack diaper bags the night before trying to go anywhere. When it is time to get out the...
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A day for popcorn
In which the optimistic toddler narrates. [FIRST THING IN MORNING. IN BED.] Ah! Isn’t this a glorious morning! Mama? Daddy? Did you hear me? GLORIOUS MORNING. Just listen to the sound of the sun...
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Householding skills for the win
You guys. These pants that I am wearing right now? I hemmed them myself. Just now. I bought them on summer clearance even though they were two inches too long, because: it’s just a hem! One straight...
View ArticleThe shoe-lazy
ME: Hey, remember when there was no such thing as Velcro? DANE: Not really? ME: You don’t remember being a kid, and there was no such thing as Velcro shoes, and then after a while they suddenly...
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